School starts tomorrow and honestly, I can't wait for it. I've been bored for so long and I'm really looking forward to seeing all of my friends that I can usually only see at school. These facts have absolutely nothing to do with the continuing enrty but I figured I should at least make a note of it.

Well a friend of mine has been having some confusing emotions that are troubling her and it's kind of gotten me thinking about my own personal feelings toward certain people. Normally these sort of things wouldn't bother me or even enter my head but it seems that recently I can't stop thinking about it.

First off, there's this guy that I like. I really like actually. He's really nice and I've known him for a long time. I can honestly say that I don't think I "love" him in the way that everyone uses that word but I think there is a very strong chance thatI  do love him in some sense. The oddest thing is, we aren't dating or anything. We hardly even hang out. He doesn't have a girlfriend, not that I know of anyway, but I don't think it would matter much to me either way. (okay here is where I start sounding really weird and stuff)

I really like talking with him. Okay maybe talking isn't the right word but I like being with him. He makes me happy and I can't tell you why because I don't know myself. When he asks me to do something for him I do it and if he is sick I ask him how he feels. I can ask him things and he waves at me when I wave at him. It's a bigger deal thatn you might think. I mean it's nothing really but it still makes me happy. Like how when I'm having the worst day in the world and then he smiles and waves at me and my mood is just....better. He doesn't even have to wave. Sometimes it's just a quick half smile before he turns back to his buddies.

I always get this feeling that we're not going to end up in the same places. It's an odd and kind of saddening feeling but at the same time it doesn't really worry me. It's just, whenever I see him he is doing something and it makes me think "He's probably going to go places". I myself plan on going places and doing big things but whenever I think about it, I just can't picture us ....well, going together. And that doesn't bother me...

Sometimes I wish it bothered me more than it does. It does BOTHER me, just not that much. When I listen to the song Gradation I think of him and I get shivers. It makes me feel, more than think, "one day, he's not oing to be there anymore" and it scares me because he's always been there. I grew up always knowing he was somewhere close and that he would smile for me and that meant a lot.

Well I'm tired and it's late and I have school tomorrow. Gotta suck up to the teachers so they won't give me such a hard time...I'm JOKING!! Well teacher usually like me anyway so whatever.I just feel like I'm obligated to get some sleep before my first day so yeah. I'm done for now.